Somehow it has happened again and there seems to be a pattern to all this.
Usually there’s a lovely lull from the sense of too much going on, and I can breathe and settle for a moment. Feeling refreshed and optimistic, this for some reason seems a great time to say yes to more and more things. Then before too long the pendulum has swung too far the other way and I am back to where I started. Rush around putting out fires, tired and overwhelmed and dreaming of breathing and settling again.
A similar thing happens for people with chronic pain.
Suffering with pain is exhausting and debilitating and so rest seems in order.One is left to sit amongst unwashed dishes and unmown lawns with building frustration.
When the pain is relieved and you feel back on track it seems the perfect time to decide to mow and spring clean and get back to work.
Then before long, the flurry of activity leads to the pain has returning and they are forced into stillness again, dreaming of when they can again take action.
It seems that a large part of the problem is not just in not having enough time, or experiencing chronic pain, but in how we think about what we are capable of achieving and what we “should” be doing.
Some of what we need to do is go more gently, seek more balance and be kinder to ourselves.
We could be better at understanding and noticing when these see-saws happen. And part of stopping the see-saw is simplify and letting go.
When we realise we have a habit of trying to fit too much in, it seems clear that we can’t create more time, and so the answer is that some things have to go.
Cutting out the things that don’t really matter, saying no to over-commitments that fill your life and learn to say no to new invitations.
Learning to overestimate the time and effort involved in doing things, rather than habitually under estimating.
And when things have to go, let them go. Accept that you can’t do it all.Accept that it can’t all be done and that’s just how it is.
And that, dear reader, is the fastest way to get through your holiday to-do-list.
Tarnya Davis is a clinical and forensic psychologist and principal of NewPsych Psychologists. Her book of columns, All Things Considered, is sold at theherald老域名备案老域名